Forgotten Conscience Chapter 47 - Getting Drunk Will Leave a Bad Taste in Your Mouth… Then There's the Booze
Sometimes it feels easier to try and dull the feelings you're having.
Tara's POV
She doesn't talk much anymore. We wake up, we go to school, we go to Mr. Giles' to do research and then we come home and go to bed. We used to talk all the time about just about everything, now we are pretty much quiet around each other. I think it has something to do with Faith. I think she's still angry over what happened.
She should spend some time with Faith, be her friend. I have this feeling that Faith is gonna need a friend. I don't know why or how I know it but I do.
I lean over on the bed and I kiss her neck.
We still sleep like this, sometimes I sleep in her arms, sometimes she sleeps in mine like tonight, and sometimes we sleep in each other's arms. We love each other. I don't doubt that for a moment. What scares me is the anger inside her. She's so focused on it... almost like she's driven by it. That kind of anger with the magic she's capable of... I don't even want to think about it. I should do something.
"Willow?"
I pull her hair out of her face and she stirs.
"Mmm?"
"Are you still awake?"
"Yeah, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to talk to you."
"About what?"
She takes my hand in hers and kisses it.
"I was just thinking that maybe we should invite Faith out for drinks sometime."
Willow turns over to look me in the eyes.
"Why?"
"Because well she must be very lonely right now, I just thought maybe we could be friendly, you know, with the friend thing."
"Why? I thought we talked about this. Faith has Buffy to be her friend. She doesn't need us."
"I know but..."
Willow sits up in bed.
"Why is this so important to you? I thought we'd settled this."
"I know I just... I'm scared."
I sit up next to her.
"Of Faith? Who wouldn't be?"
It's not Faith I'm scared of.
"No... I'm scared of... of you."
That probably wasn't the best thing to say.
"Scared? Why are you scared of me? What would you have to be scared of me for?"
"I'm... I'm scared of you so much as I'm scared of your anger..."
"My anger?"
"You're angry about Faith."
"And why wouldn't I be?"
"Well it's just..."
"I'm sorry that my being angry with someone who tried to kill me and everyone I care about scares you but I have every right to be angry."
I'm not disputing that.
"I know that but what worries me is what is gonna happen. What you're gonna do or say with that anger."
"Well what do you want me to do? Just stop being angry at her?"
"No I don't it's just... maybe we should just spend time with her, get to know the person she is..."
"You want me to get to know a woman who tried to kill me? I can barely stand to look her in the face."
"It may be the same face looking at you but if we spent some time with her I'm sure you'll see that she isn't the same person on the inside."
"We've had this conversation Tara. I believe you when you say she has amnesia and that she's a different person then she used to be but that still doesn't change how I feel."
"I know and I don't mean to be pushy about this but how are you gonna deal with your anger if you avoid what's making you angry?"
There's a silence between us as she thinks about what I said.
"I'm not asking you to like her, I'm not even asking you to be her friend. All I'm asking is for you to spend some time with her."
Again we're silent as she stares at her feet, covered by our sheets.
"Okay I'll ask but I can't promise anything. Faith, no matter who she is now, knows how I feel."
"Thank you, I appreciate this."
She slinks down on the bed.
"Can we just go to bed now?"
I lean in and plant a kiss on her lips.
"Sure..."
I slide down and put my head on her chest. I can hear her heart beating. I put my arms around her mid-section as I feel her arms around my shoulders. I close my eyes and listen to her heart beat.
"I love you Willow."
"I love you too Tara."
This'll all be for the best, especially for Buffy.
Buffy's POV
"... and now she's here."
Wow, I talk a lot.
I take a sip of my drink and look over at Spike.
"Well... that was a rousing tale."
"See I told you it would be boring."
I conveniently left out the part about me getting warm and fuzzy down low feelings for Faith. I really don't need Spike ragging on me about all that. But now that I think about it I never did figure out if this was just about Faith or girls in general or... something more complicated.
"No really it was quite a story."
"Oh come on you were bored all the way through."
"See even Faith could tell, you aren't fooling anyone."
"Hey now, stakes into human hearts, blood everywhere, young girls trying to tear each other limb from limb. It was quite riveting."
First word eww, second word... okay there's no second word it's pretty much just eww.
"I knew there was a reason I hated you Spike."
Spike gets up and picks up a couple glasses on the table.
"Right then, you go on hating me and I'll go and get us a couple more drinks."
"Sounds like a good idea."
"I tend to agree with Faith, the less you're around the better I'll feel."
Spike glares at me as he leaves to the bar and I glare back.
You know, now that I think about it Spike is kinda neutral. And except for my incredible distaste of the blood sucker I suppose he's an okay guy, and he is kinda hunky I suppose for a creature of the night and all. Maybe I should...
"So what do you think?"
I snap out of whatever the hell's wrong with me.
"Hmm?"
"Of Spike... what do you think?"
What do I think of Spike?
"I'm sorry I didn't hear what the question was?"
"What do you think? Is he evil?"
Oh... evil... I thought she meant...
"Well he's a vampire so of course he's evil."
"But do you think he's working for those evil cult guys?"
"He does seem really interested in you, and trust me that can't be good."
She chuckles and I'm not sure if my head is swimming because of the alcohol or because she's cute when she smiles.
It's probably a little of both. When Faith used to smile there was always something sinister about the way she did it, almost like she wasn't happy unless she had an ulterior motive. But I don't see that in her smile now, it's kind of nice not to wonder whether she's thinking about killing me especially considering how I feel about her. Speaking of which, maybe I should go and see if Spike can help me with my problem.
"So we stick to the plan right?"
"Hmm?"
"The plan? You know the one where we have a few more drinks with him and see if we can loosen his tongue."
Tongues... that's a good idea, no tongues, tongues equal a bad place I really don't wanna go... no tongues.
"Right... where the hell is Spike anyway?"
Faith looks around.
"Yeah how long does it take to order drinks?"
Okay, good excuse... take it, take it.
I stand up.
"I think I'll go over to the bar and make sure he hasn't ditched us."
"You want me to come with?"
"No, it's cool. I'll be back in a second. Just hold our table okay?"
"Okay."
I start walking through the crowd at the Bronze, dodging people dancing all over the place.
Ow!
I run into someone and lucky for them I didn't knock them over.
"Hey, watch it bitch."
I look up at who I ran into.
"Well there's a phrase you don't hear everyday, unless you're me."
"Oh, sorry I was just on my way back with your drinks."
I look at the drinks in Spike's hands.
"As you can obviously see..."
Okay... try not to stake him long enough to do this. it'll only take a sec.
"Thanks... so Spike, how are you?"
"Do you care?"
No, I don't.
"Okay no I don't I just thought I'd be polite, what with you saving my life and all."
"Do you need something slayer?"
"Actually, yes..."
Okay straight to the point.
"Well what is it? I'm kinda getting tired of holding these drinks."
I grab the drinks out of his hands and put them on the nearest table.
"All right, what the hell do you want slayer?"
I start walking towards him and he keeps backing off.
"I need your help with something Spike."
"Aww... I don't have to save anyone. Or anything heroic, do I?"
"No actually..."
He backs into the side of the stairs which lead upstairs. We get inches from each other.
The thought of us this close makes my skin crawl... and not in the good way like with Faith.
"All you have to do is stand there."
He gives me this weird look.
Do it... do it, and get it over with... then you can put the horrible taste of his mouth behind you.
I grab him by the back of the head and kiss him.
I knew it... I don't feel a thing. this makes things a little less complicated. So why am I still kissing him? Okay any time now.
I hear a glass break and I stop kissing him.
Thank god.
I look to where the glass broke.
Oh crap... FAITH!
End of Chapter 47
